T here isn’t much a Building Inspector inspects in a bedroom; ventilation, ceiling height and possibly the heating were about all I could think of. Yet Mike had decided to use this delicate location to discuss every aspect of the house, especially the plumbing and how the roof was cross braced. At the time I was the Building Control Trainee, so it should have been a good opportunity for me to note some important aspects about these areas. I could have learnt the minimal spacing of the truss rafters, or how to do an air test on the down pipe in the toilet, and yet all I could think about was cupboards.

Different places evoke fond feelings and memories to different people. For me its cupboards. In my view, cupboards are the most important room in the house. They store everything you can think of; Christmas presents, towels, toys, cups, books, dvds, saucepans, mops, buckets, pens, knives, forks etc. The list is endless. If all those stored items were pulled out of our cupboards and placed end to end, I wager they would loop the planet. Cupboards camouflage clutter behind smooth and tidy exteriors.

It's the art of concealment. The best cupboards do this fantastically well. In a luxury fitted kitchen, for instance, fridges and freezers are hidden behind cupboard doors, giving the whole room a more harmonious feel. Then there are the walk-in cupboards that are almost rooms in themselves, such as the utility room or larder.

There‘s more to a cupboard than simply storage though. Some of the best games of hide and seek I experienced as a child were in houses littered with cupboards, especially walk-in cupboards. There are few better places to hide than the bedroom cupboard (normally turned into a walk-in wardrobe). My fondest memories as a child involve jumping out of my Mother’s walk-in wardrobe to surprise the seeker with a giant ‘BOO!’. Even better is when the seeker is not actually playing hide and seek. I can remember the look of horror on my Mother’s face as she went to put her clothes away and discovered me with my ugliest face waiting silently the other side of the door. I have never quite outgrown this childish game.

There is also the security aspect; cupboards can protect valuables and even children. As a child I was fortunate enough to have a small cupboard in my bedroom. I can remember filling it with my pillow and quilt, a torch and my comics. Anytime I wanted to get away from my sisters or brother I would hide away in there for hours, leaving them to believe I had gone out for the day.

So there I was mulling over the great positives of a cupboard; plenty of reason, I thought, to justify spending some valuable time in one. And as I listened to Mike, discussing the various regulations of the 1985 Building Act, I wished that I could vanish into a cupboard within a cupboard, and that no one would find me. My game of surprise hide and seek had gone horribly wrong. I listened intently as I heard the foreman respond to Mike’s questions. Then I heard the plumber arrive and then the carpenter. The pressure was building and my chance of exit had long gone. Twenty minutes they had stood in the room, the room with only two doors. Mike must have been wondering where I was and it would have been a good laugh, if only he had been alone, a good laugh to lighten up the day.

Then I heard Mike say, ‘What’s through that door?’

‘Ah, that’s just a cupboard,’ replied the foreman and I heard footsteps heading toward me. I remember a cold sweat arising on my skin and thinking, ‘if only people appreciated cupboards a bit more, they might understand‘, but I doubted it, there‘s a time and a place you see and this wasn‘t it. And then the handle turned and the door opened to reveal my smiling red face.